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NZPOME

What Pets write in their diaries....

Excerpts from a dogs diary:




8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a cats diary:



Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. barstewards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
horace

   
mrs tiggywinkle

Very funny    
NZPOME

I had a gobful of coffee that joined all the biscuit crumbs in me keyboard when I read it!  :xroll:  
Celtic Eagle

Absolute classic so funny

Nice one
NZPOME

Glad you like it  

That's my Max the foxie and Tiger is the scowling cat! I know now what he's thinking!
kaz

The pictures are great with the text - you can just imagine them thinking like that
NZPOME

 The original email I was sent had similar photos, but I wanted to use my own, expecially that one of Tiger, he always looks like that and yet he is the most cuddly loving cat, especially the way he weaves around you legs at the top of stairs.............oh my God! The rat!!  

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