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Made me chuckle, anyway .....
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darkbrowneggs



Joined: 18 Dec 2010
Posts: 1302


Location: On the road

PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:54 am    Post subject: Made me chuckle, anyway .....  Reply with quote

A Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico.


While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.


He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'


The waiter replied, 'Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'


The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.'


The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'


The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.'

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins'
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and it you want to follow my travel journal
www.theworldismylobster.me.uk
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horace



Joined: 22 Jul 2009
Posts: 4214


Location: yorkshire

PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

   
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sod
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Joined: 18 Dec 2007
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Location: Masterton New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

     
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Rosie Posie



Joined: 05 Mar 2012
Posts: 89



PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

excellent!
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12Bore



Joined: 07 Oct 2011
Posts: 8153


Location: Paddling in the Mersey

PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 8:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

 
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sapphire



Joined: 08 Feb 2010
Posts: 3327



PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 12:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

   
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MDD



Joined: 24 Aug 2012
Posts: 117


Location: Devon

PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2013 12:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It was a terrible night, blowing cold and rain in a most frightful manner. The streets were deserted and the local baker was just about to close up shop when a little Jewish man slipped through the door. He carried an umbrella, blown inside out, and was bundled in two sweaters and a thick coat. But even so he still looked wet and bedraggled.
As he unwound his scarf he said to the baker, "May I have two bagels to go, please?"
The baker said in astonishment, "Two bagels? Nothing more?"
"That's right," answered the little man. "One for me and one for Bernice."
"Bernice is your wife?" Asked the baker.
"What do you think," snapped the little man, "my mother would send me out on a night like this?"
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MDD



Joined: 24 Aug 2012
Posts: 117


Location: Devon

PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2013 1:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I went with the wife to watch a European athletics meeting.

We were passing one of the competitors carrying a long pole, and, even though it seemed obvious, the wife went over to the competitor and asked, 'I suppose you're a pole-vaulter?'

'Nein,' replied the competitor, 'you're nearly right. I am a German. But tell me, how did you know my name vas Valter?'
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MDD



Joined: 24 Aug 2012
Posts: 117


Location: Devon

PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2013 5:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One Sunday morning, the Devil appeared before a small town American congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.

Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. The Devil walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

The Devil asked, "Aren't you going to run?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Perturbed, the Devil asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
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Border



Joined: 28 Sep 2007
Posts: 4092



PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2013 6:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

           
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sod
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Joined: 18 Dec 2007
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Location: Masterton New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 1:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

      thanks great
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MDD



Joined: 24 Aug 2012
Posts: 117


Location: Devon

PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 4:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As part of his regular charitable activities, Sir Alan Sugar recently visited a residential care home in Golders Green. Although it was the first time heís been to this particular home, he always looks forward to such visits because he loves cheering up the elderly residents, and they in turn always enjoy seeing and talking to a well known Jewish TV celebrity.

But as soon as Sir Alan entered the residents lounge, he was dismayed to discover that no one seemed to know who he is. So he walked over to a lovely elderly lady, gave her one of his big smiles and said, "Hello, sweetheart, whatís your name?Ē

"Miriam," she replied.

"So, Miriam, do you know who I am?" asked Sir Alan.

Miriam looked up at him for a few seconds, then replied, "No, I donít. But donít worry dear. Just ask one of the care nurses, they will tell you who you are."
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MDD



Joined: 24 Aug 2012
Posts: 117


Location: Devon

PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine...
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darkbrowneggs



Joined: 18 Dec 2010
Posts: 1302


Location: On the road

PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 5:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

  Some good ones there MDD        
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For lots of info about keeping and breeding Marans see www.darkbrowneggs.info

and it you want to follow my travel journal
www.theworldismylobster.me.uk
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12Bore



Joined: 07 Oct 2011
Posts: 8153


Location: Paddling in the Mersey

PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 8:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

 

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